The Dart Maker Blog

Patience, whether about achieving goals or anything else, is not a popular virtue in the modern world. How valuable is patience today?

A young woman in the UK has just been jailed for 20 years. She wanted to make three million pounds quickly by killing rich people.

As part of her plan, she conducted a trial murder by knifing a kindly neighbour 14 times. I am surprised that she had enough patience to conduct a test murder before moving on to her main targets.

A less exceptional example of impatience can be found in the world of cosmetic surgery where people are ready to suffer the surgeon’s knife to lose fat quickly. They are not prepared for the long haul of eating less and exercising more.

On the internet you are promised that you can learn how to write a book in fourteen days or even seven days. The question of whether such a book would be worth reading is not closely analysed.

However, I think there is a place for such promises because they inspire people to get started and write something. Without such inspiration, many potential authors will never write anything. The writing can always be improved later on.

Some people wait patiently all their lives to achieve a goal and then die before they start! Maybe the idea of patience has been misunderstood in the modern world.

For example, patience has been described as the ability to “sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration.”

This description could describe someone’s experience on a toilet seat! There is no need to sit back and do nothing whether one is in a lavatory or somewhere else. However, action without anxiety, tension and frustration can only be a good thing.

One can work hard and with urgency on any project and still be so detached from the results that anxiety, tension and frustration are avoided.

Patience, then, does not mean sitting around and waiting for good things to happen; it means working hard but calmly and believing that results will eventually show up.

I just came across this quote which fits the above point exactly:

“The way to manifest (create the reality you want) effectively is to use patience and consistent action at the same time.”

Incidentally, before we leave the topic of toilets or washrooms, the average time spent on the toilet over a life time is three years. A lot of reading can be done over three years - the same length of time it takes to achieve a university degree!

Geoff Thompson, the martial arts expert and author, wrote his first book on toilet paper in the washroom at the factory where he worked! He is now a successful author of books, plays and films.

Moving on from the fascinating topic of toilet action, my Taekwondo Instructor once offered a black belt to anyone who asked for it.

No one asked.

They realized the lesson he was trying to teach. If you do not have the patience to train step by step for your black belt over a period of years, you do not deserve to have a black belt and are unlikely to have developed the skills worthy of such an honour.

Most martial arts help their students to reach black belt by allowing them to achieve step by step colour belt grades which break up the goal of achieving black belt into smaller stages. Most people can muster up enough patience to aim for their next belt over a period of two or three months.

Mercifully, the need for patience about goals is also limited in other ways. We do not have to rely patiently on other people to achieve our goals for us. A huge benefit in life is that we can usually make things happen ourselves. We do not have to wait for other people to take action on our behalf. You can train as hard as you like on your own to achieve your black belt. You do not have to rely on a friend to train with you.

We have the wonderful gift of being able to take as much action as we wish in pursuit of our own goals. Nor do we have to depend on certificates to qualify us to achieve our goals. Earl Nightingale said that one hour per day of study could put you at the top of your field within three years

When I watch the current world football cup competition, I have to remind myself that there is nothing I can do to win a match. I did buy English flags for my car but that was the extent of what I could achieve without moving to Germany and buying a ticket!

However, I can support my own goal achieving attempts one hundred per cent. We can work patiently in a stress free way on our own dreams and goals. We don’t have to wait impatiently for others to work for us.

We can be urgent in our efforts and actions but patient about results.

Results take time. A tree does not grow overnight though a weed might well do so! Patience is needed especially when results seem like they will never come.

When we become impatient for results, we make mistakes. A few years ago, I was inspired by a seminar to make money quickly through buying shares. I eventually lost £27,000 pounds to a fraudulent company based in Buenos Aires.

Most road accidents are the result of impatience as people drive too fast or try to jump the traffic lights or overtake at the wrong place. A Chinese proverb sums things up:

“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.”

Patience allows us to let go of our need for immediate results and immediate gratification. It allows us to wait long enough for someone to cook a tasty and healthy meal rather than a ready made but unhealthy one.

My brother visits once a week and cooks a great meal. He has the patience to first read the recipe and then buy the correct ingredients and then cook them according to instructions. He is the opposite to me and my dentist who says: “Life is too short for stuffing mushrooms!”

My dentist and I do not appreciate that stuffing mushrooms with healthy ingredients might well prolong life as we start to eat more healthy food. In fact stress, brought on by impatience and the relentless haste of the modern world, is now seen as the biggest danger to health there is. Patience can literally save lives.

Patience is also of enormous value in human relationships. No one likes working or living with an uptight and irritable person. People who show compassion and understanding for those who are less quick on the uptake or who do not know how to behave properly are worth their weight in gold.

A brief moment of impatience can ruin a relationship for years to come. Whenever I have exploded in anger and impatience, little good has come of it even if the anger was fully justified. Irritation can easily lead to long term resentment and even physical confrontation

We also need to have patience with ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes do not mean the end of our goals and dreams. They can become the stepping stones to achieving our plans as we learn from them.

A whole book rather than just one article could be written about the value of patience but the following points are worth thinking about:

Patience does not mean waiting for things to happen. Urgent, swift action can be combined with patience about results. Patience also allows you to focus on your actions rather the results of your actions. You do not waste time watching the pot to see when it will boil.

If you lack patience, you can buy a black belt or university degree. But such honours mean nothing if you do not have the patience to put in the hours necessary to qualify for them.

It is a waste of time getting impatient about how your national team performs in a competition. There is nothing you can do about it. You can, however, take action on your own goals and projects. In addition, you do not need permission from anyone else to become an expert in the fields that interest you.

Patience can help you eat healthy food and avoid stress and the resulting stress related diseases. It can even save your life.

Patience can improve your relationships. It can help you avoid violent confrontations which could injure or kill you or put you in prison. Develop patience and you will have and retain many friends and even admirers.

The power of patience is not only necessary today. It is of crucial importance and is essential for the achievement of most worthwhile goals.

For years I have been asked “How did you get it all together and do all you have done.

I do not believe people ask in idle curiosity. I think they have the same reason that compelled me, when I was sixteen growing up on the streets of New York City to ask myself how I could make my own dreams come through.

The average human being has the ability to achieve almost anything. Lack of basic capability is rarely the problem. We all have great reserves of untapped power. The problem is almost always in finding out what you want. Before we go any further let me define how I am using the word want here. I am not talking about mere wishes now, I am talking about wants that gnaw at you.

Maybe you think you do not have any gnawing wants. If you think that, you are wrong! You have the wants. But they are bottled up where you cannot get at them. Your early experiences and training poured them in and pounded the cork home…And there they sit. Building pressure for their next destructive burst of envy and vindictiveness. They may leak out as blind insistence that all your problems are caused by others. Instead of trying to bottle your wants, learn to understand them. From such understanding springs the knowledge of how to use this vital force to power your drive for greater things. Your drive has to come from this source: There is no other that works for long.

It is often the fear of failure that makes us bottle up our wants. But failure is not the worst possible result. Not trying is! If you try, you can succeed; if you will not try, you have already failed. Do you suffer from this fear? Then decide in advance that you have failed and after that go out and give the try you are capable of.

Lots of us are willing to risk failure but we still do not exert ourselves. We do not see any reason to. Why? Because we would not do anything very exciting or satisfying with success if we could win it. If that is your problem, you need to give it a lot of attention. Finding the answer will take deep thinking. Widen your horizons, seek out new friends and activities, and search for unthought of rewards that will make success worth its price to you. The pivot point here is finding what will motivate your own unique personality. Many of us are so blinded by what society and other people think we should want that we can not hear our own cries for help. Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.

If you really want something, that want will make a difference in your life. You will work to satisfy that want. You will sacrifice pleasure for it. You will even be willing to change and grow for it. In fact, you will deliberately change yourself and grow so that you can have what you really want. But you will not do any of these things for mere wishes. That is why you must put what you think you want on paper. Then look at your goals, written there in black and white, and commit to them. But wait you are not done yet. It is no good to write pages of goals down somewhere and the go on about your old routine as though nothing has happened.

Every day, look at each goal. Think whether you are doing what has to be done, whether you are paying the price that has to be paid. It does not matter at this point whether or not you already possess all the abilities and resources you must have if you are to achieve your goal - those you can pick up along the way. But you will not start without having the desire. The first step is to commit to the goal in writing. The great majority of people never once in their lives will take this simple first step on the journey to achievement. For this reason alone, they will never take the last step the brings them what they wish for…Apathy Stifles More Careers Than Inability Ever Does!

Since you cannot leash your creativity or accelerate your growth until you commit yourself to a goal, any positive goal is better than no goal at all. You will probably make many false starts before you discover what will keep you happily involved for the rest of your life. That is wonderful! All the time that you are committed to written goals, you are growing rapidly. You are experiencing much. Striving on the field, you are learning a ton for every pound the apathetic person learns sitting in the bleachers of life. Every moment that you are playing the great game of living to the fullest, you are charging toward an understanding of your best potential, of what your finest destiny really is . Allowing ourselves to bury our life in apathy is the greatest crime - and we commit it by not committing ourselves to goals that are real to us.

You can achieve almost any goal you have the courage to set - but sometimes it takes a painful experience to light the way.

Copyright © Donald N. Lombardi
http://www.HomeBasedBusinessWizard.com

Don Lombardi has been consulting business owners on how to
develop and manage a successful business since 1984. Before starting his consulting business, Don spent 25 years as a senior executive with several international corporations. After 9/11 he decided to spend more time on the fairways and less in airplanes. He now consults mainly with Internet companies in Arizona. You can read other articles written by Don Lombardi at his blog address: http://www.HomeBasedBusinessWizardsJournal.blogspot.com

SO WHAT DOES GOAL SETTING OFFER? It closes the manageremployee gap. Often there are misunderstandings, miscommunication, or even no communication at all between upper management and lower level employees regarding company goals and plans. By setting reasonable goals with each employee, a supervisor can truly bridge this communication gap. After all, the employees actually perform the required work and such a lack of communication can leave employees feeling frustrated, not understanding their roles within the organization.

It assists the supervisor in employee reviews. Goal setting provides necessary foundation for employee performance appraisals. There can never be a really equitable appraisal review for any employee unless clearly defined goals have been mutually set several weeks (or months) prior to the review. By establishing both reasonable and achievable goals with an employee, the supervisor lays the foundation for meaningful reviews in the eventual performance measurement.

It provides a realistic assessment of manager expectations. The goal-setting process provides an organization with a “reality check” of a manager’s attainment of both short-term and long-term objectives. This process can measure a manager’s ability to be specific, detailed and thoroughly communicative to employees. Merely conveying a broad idea of goals to employees will not automatically insure that the goals will be met. It must be carefully explained and thoroughly understood.

It insures the goal’s own achievement. Effective goal setting provides a platform for the continuous coaching process that necessarily follows it. By using a clear-cut and measurable goal as a starting point, the techniques of coaching are greatly facilitated. If a supervisor follows the well set goal in progress, he can quickly catch any errors that may endanger or stall the goal’s completion. To put this idea in a different perspective, it is far easier for a supervisor to perform a good coaching job when both the employee and the supervisor know in advance what is expected in the way of performance.

Copyright AE Schwartz & Associates All rights reserved. For additional presentation materials and resources: ReadySetPresent and for a Free listing as a Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, Vendor/Organization: TrainingConsortium

CEO, A.E. Schwartz & Associates, Boston, MA., a comprehensive organization which offers over 40 skills based management training programs. Mr. Schwartz conducts over 150 programs annually for clients in industry, research, technology, government, Fortune 100/500 companies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide. He is often found at conferences as a key note presenter and/or facilitator. His style is fast-paced, participatory, practical, and humorous. He has authored over 65 books and products, and taught/lectured at over a dozen colleges and universities throughout the United States.

The over riding advantage of Chamonix town is its short distance to the airport in Geneva. You can easily leave the UK in the morning and be skiing in the early afternoon. The success of Ryan Air and cheap flights has resulted in lower fares and with just an hour trip time from Geneva and Chamonix a skiing weekend is today within the price range of anyone; and all our chalets are available from Wednesday through to the Sunday which allows you to benefit from low priced plane tickets and uncrowded runs. Immediately on arrival at Geneva airport unitl receiving the ski passes awaiting for you on arrival at the chalet; every detail is booked to insure that everyone spend the least amount of time journeying and the max. of your time skiing.

A ski break in Chamonix Haute Savoie France can be a brilliant vacation only if one arrange the details correct so you can revel in your valuable trip. That means getting the travel Geneva to Chamonix transfer and ski chalet just right and taking the group onto the mountains as painlessly as humanly possible. Our task is to provide you the max. period of time skiing with the minimum amount of hassle as well as our standard impeccable levels of relaxation cuisine and personal service. Bearing this in mind we provide express airport transfers excellent ski chalets excellent food and we are happy to recommend and reserve skiing guides and snowboarding instructors.

Who hasn’t become angry at one time or another? I’m sure you’ll agree that for what ever reason, you found a reason to justify the need for your anger the last time you found yourself in that state.

So the question I have for you is: How do you justify your anger?

That is, how do you justify the fact that you allow yourself to feel, entertain and/or act out feelings of anger ever?

You’ve probably never asked yourself this question. The reason I say this is because had you ever done so you would begin to uncover a deep falsehood about the negative emotion we call anger. Let me explain.

A common trigger for anger is, say, a slight, coming from someone else that makes you perhaps feel hurt and like a victim.
Another example is more innocuous like something just doesn’t happen to go your way on a particular day. In other words, the universe is not looking out for you.

In any case, whatever the trigger I think you’ll agree that the actual experience of the anger is the same. For a moment re-familiarize yourself with that experience, that is allow yourself to feel angry and notice what it does to:

1. Your sense of inner peace and composure,

2. Your energy level once the anger has subsided,

3. To you concentration,

4. To your feeling of being in control of yourself,

5. To how it makes you feel about yourself, as a human being,

6. To your self esteem, your self worth, your self respect, the level of guilt you feel inside,

If you reflect on the sum total of these observations I think you’ll find that the anger is a “toxic” state because in summary what it does to you is that it robs you of your vital life energy, your self esteem among other things. Another way of saying this is that it is killing you.

Does that make you feel more or less empowered?

Does it make you feel more or less like a victim?

If you know what I’m talking about and you’d like to take your life to a new level of personal mastery then you may wish to hear the special messages I have posted on the web link below.

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.

Business URL #1: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

The collective of carpet manufacturers and retailers has come together to reinvigorate the home carpet ideas category to showcase the versatility of the material within the home through a unique carpet brand called “Fun on the Floor”.

The Fun on the Floor brand has been created to re-awaken the nation’s love affair with carpet by showcasing its versatility and offering ideas on how it can change the look and feel of your entire home. Funded by a consortium of UK and continental manufacturers together with Carpetright and Headlam, this £7m two year campaign will cover a range of communications activity.

If you are looking to add warmth and comfort to your home - carpet is ideal, and is also much quieter than hard surfaces. In today’s world those looking for a carpet have to choose from a massive selection of styles, fibers, textures, and individual characteristics. Home carpet is often seen as a large investment for people, however it can actually be a relatively inexpensive way to transform your living space. A sensible choice when choosing a carpet would retain a balance between the aesthetics of the carpet as well as the practical considerations. It’s important when choosing the right carpet for your home that you keep how much money you have to spend in mind as well as, the amount of wear and tear the carpet will receive, as well as the amount of looking after it will require.

Replacing a carpet due to general wear and tear can be a great excuse to revitalise your living space. People often notice that carpets appear worn in those areas which people walk over the most, which why it’s important to choose the right kind of carpet for these areas. The Fun on the Floor campaign is a great example of how different kinds of carpet can be so effective at completely transforming different parts of a home.

The United States has established the Democratic and Republican parties as the only ones that matter in its political arena. This gave way to a stable political stage that has weathered protests by several anti-bipartisan movements. Such a political construct is the envy of other democratic nations where multiple parties, with their own agenda, hinder the development of their countries. The bipartisan system allows the ruling party to implement policies that needed to be enacted more rapidly in comparison with having several parties lobbying against it. Though there will be debates, they will be relatively expeditious. Imagine having a debate with different opponents at the same time and attacking the ruling party’s view from different angles. What result can one expect from that? Perhaps the best thing about bipartisan politics in the United States is that the people are protected, and their interests secured, provided they are within the confines of the law. Bipartisanship allows each party to fully scrutinize laws and bills proposed by the other and make their own amendments until both parties are satisfied with the provisions. Cooperation is the best value that comes with bipartisan politics. Cooperation between the Democrats and Republicans, despite their differences and their party affiliations, will always bear a mutual benefit to both parties and to the country they govern.

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Acquiring the best fishing supplies is an incredibly critical thing to consider when your are pondering your next fishing excursion. You must permit yourself the proper items to fall into the “atmosphere” & receive the optimal benefits of fishing. Buying the appropriate fishing tools will aid you in several ways. As you may well be aware, the more tools you have the more pleasurable fishing will become. One of the important questions you should ask is, do you possess all that you need prior to you heading out on your excursion? To be victorious you would be clever to ensure that your fishing expedition commences with loading up the best fishing tools. There are a number of types of supplies & it usually depends on type of place you will be fishing in, what sort of fish you are looking for & the breed of fishing that you crave. Find great offers from golf equipment shop online today.

There are many different types & styles of fishing reels that comprise of a range of affordability. If you are wanting to enter into professional fishing you will need to ensure that your fishing supplies is intended for that type of purpose. Commercial fishing demands much more robust fishing gear. Because commercial fishing equipment demands 2 to 3 times the use they wear much sooner. This makes it much more wise to spend the extra straight up. There are a range of manufactured goods so that you can make a preference based on needs in addition to what you can actually particularly afford.

The sort of fishing rod is another essential part of the tackle that you will need. You may perhaps want to think what sort of rod that you will need for your fishing excursion. Just as there are a range of reels there is an array of fishing rods to get. It is advised to make your judgement on the kind of fish that you are wanting to get.

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 2, 2004

I am at a complete loss about what to do with my mother-in-law to be. In a nutshell, she’s verbally abusive. She treats my fiance like a child, and yet he is 30. She calls me stupid. He has put up with this behavior all his life and won’t stand up to her. I love my fiance, but if this is how it’s going to be the rest of our lives, I’m having second thoughts.

She’s an unreasonable person who throws a fit whenever people don’t do things her way. I’ve done my best to keep peace with her. I treat her kindly and do my utmost to be respectful and listen to her.

I know I need to be more assertive and set some boundaries, in a kind manner of course. I believe in treating others with respect no matter the difficulty of the situation. Sadly, she could care less about others’ feelings. My fiance’s a wonderful guy, but how do I deal with his mom? When we announce our engagement, she’s going to go ballistic.

Danielle

Danielle, in mythology Venus was Psyche’s mother-in-law. Venus decreed she would not accept Psyche as a daughter-in-law unless she performed several preposterous tasks.

Great quantities of wheat, lentils, peas, poppy seeds, barley, and millet were mixed together, and Psyche had to sort them by nightfall. Aided by an army of ants, Psyche did it. Another task required Psyche to fetch water from a mountain spring guarded by dragons. Again Psyche succeeded, this time helped by an eagle.

You are writing to us as if we command magical power. We don’t. You want to treat this woman as you have been, yet you want her to change. The first time “stupid” came out of her mouth the issue should have been addressed. Ground rules need to be set from the start.

Pretend you are her. Why should she change? You treat her with respect . She is doing a better job of teaching you than you are of teaching her. Turning the other cheek is not appropriate because it will not stop or correct her behavior. When the food is unpalatable, you send it back to the chef.

Have your boyfriend agree to stay on the sidelines, then confront his mother each time she crosses the line of acceptable behavior. If this problem isn’t solved before you marry, heed your second thoughts.

Tamara

---

Sight Unseen

I can’t believe I’m writing for advice, but I think the time has come. I have been intimately involved with my lover for two years. She has been in a relationship with another woman for eight years.

Needless to say, I am the other woman in her life. I am at the point where I want to end our relationship. My problem is I don’t know how. We started out as friends and have had so many fun times together I’m scared of losing that. I don’t want to hurt her, but I am mature and wise enough to know the entire situation seems to be a lost cause.

My lover tells me I am trying to put a time limit on when we will be together, but after two years I feel I have the right to know what the future holds for me but there are no answers.

Susannah

Susannah, Tamara often says, “What most letters boil down to is the letter writer is unwilling to do the hard thing.” There’s no point in giving you an answer because you already know the answer. But the right answer is the hard thing.

When a relationship is going nowhere, you need to end it. Continuing takes away the opportunity of finding the right person. In addition, ending a wrong relationship gives you the courage to end wrong relationships in the future. It is hard to choose uncertainty, but that is where potential happiness lies.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

Think London is a special agency set up by the city of London’s flamboyant Mayor Boris Johnson. Launching a new initiative at the property conference in the French resort town of Cannes, Mayor Boris announced that his city was prepared to offer foreign businesses free office space for a year.

The London office market is suffering just as much as every other large city in Europe so the new initiative is hoped will provide London with an edge in the downturn, which is expected to reverse itself as the London Olympics approach.

Along with the very attractive, free rent in one of the world’s most expensive office locations. The new plan with the name London Now will offer foreign companies several other tempting add-ons including a dedicated personal adviser assigned to each company in order to assist them in all aspects of setting up business in one of the world’s most dynamic capital cities.

The free rent option will cover all rental costs of two maximum of £150,000 for the first year. The obvious hope of Mayor Boris and his London Now team is that once the free roof over their head comes to an end, companies will decide that London is a good operating base with a lot to offer foreign and international companies.

Official figures put the amount of empty office space in the nation’s capital at somewhere just below 15%. This of course is having a knock-on effect of lowering the average rent as many companies move location in order to put their operating costs. If you want to rent desk space, Desk Space Genie is a website all about desk hire.

The think London project is receiving cash backing from the city of London as well as the London Development Agency and has received the full backing of all political parties.

In Cannes the Mayor was exhorting the virtues of setting up offices in London promoting for example the fact that the average cost of living in the city has dropped considerably since the financial crisis began.

He also pointed out that the considerable decline in the value of the pound now makes London are very practical proposition for many companies that may have previously shied away from the notoriously expensive proposition of setting up a London office.